Sunday, 11 January 2015

A real piece of gay pyschology

It is a real incident that changed my way of looking at life. It was a wintery morning of last few weeks of December and I was waiting for next metro at a open metro platform of Pulbangash (North Delhi). After waiting for few minutes the train finally came and I was in a rush to board the crowded metro, as I entered a young guy of about 22 was standing at the entrance, I had to push him to get through. As I got settled I saw that I same guy was shivering with cold and observing me cautiously. He had a cute face and pink lips and eyes often rolled to see me and my body, his hands were in pockets. As I saw him looking at him he pushed towards me and took his hand off the pocket. As if he wanted to say please embrace me in your arms I am feeling cold. Beneath his hands was approaching my groin. Suddenly I felt a finger rolling over my dick and he was reluctant if I retaliated. But I said nothing and more fingers touched my tool. when he gained the confidence that I am enjoying it he took hold of it and pressed it hard. I shook away his hand and then we both dropped to Kashmiri gate metro station. He was looking decent and educated so I thought it is good to talk. 

He told me that he is interested in men and accepted his sexuality as 'gay', I liked his acceptance. He told me that he very well understands the emotional and physical needs of a guy because he worked for a msm (men to men) NGO for an year. He created my intellectual and physical interest in him. I felt like frankly discussing things with him. I asked him if dated men via online website like (planetromeo and Grindr). He answered in very polite manner and said I don't go there because everyone says goodbye after having sex. He was saying every cheesy thing which was convincing me that he was perfectly suitable for me for a long term friendship. I could say he was intellectually satisfying my ego and making me feel very good. In the meanwhile I also caught him observing my groin area, may be thinking about my size and the feel of my dick. I did not pay much attention to that. Finally I was ready to give him my contact number. I left for office and he left for some of his personal work. 

I was busy with my work in the afternoon when I saw a call from a number which said 'Metro Avinash'.I has saved his number as 'Metro Avinash'. I was in a meeting and did not pick up the call. I received 3 more calls at about 4 o clock. I picked the call to say that I am busy. But the voice at the other side said sweetheart you did not call me. With his cute face in front of my eyes I could not say no to meet him at Rajiv chowk at 6pm. I was standing in front of KFC and he came from behind and kind of tried to put his hand over my dick. I thought he was trying to hug so I hugged him warmly. He was shivering with cold and looking into my eyes with some lustful feelings. He told me that he had no one at home and that is why he just had tea since morning. My heart said what a poor chap, I should treat him with something. I took him to MacDonald and ordered burgers and on his demand cold drink. I asked him if he would like coffee or tea. He denied and said cold drink is that what he loves the most. I thought he was shivering some time back but did not argue and bought him cold drink. At the table while we were eating he told me that he has learnt two levels of french and will be enrolling in third level very soon. I had a keen interest in french since childhood and  but never have been able to attend classes. After knowing this he offered me if I could teach him English and he will teach me french. It was a formulation of another bond which strengthen my trust in him. While I had kept my burger on the table and was having water. He suddenly picked my burger and took a bite. He
wanted to tell me that how emotionally attached he feels with me on the first day of the meet. He was satisfying every small need of my ego. My ego who often tells me that I deserve to attract and be highly loved by all the good looking young guys in the world. He was doing everything to convince me that he is the best and a permanent match for me. My ego was telling me "Yes Rahul, you have conquested him and you can make him do everything which satisfies you". After eating he told me that near one of the metro stations he knows an isolated place where we could spend some private time. 

It was getting dark and I had to return home but his mesmerizing eyes and pink lips did not let me go home. We went to that place, it was an old abandoned garage where no one could have come. 

Without wasting much time in hugging, he smooched and started to undress my trousers. I told him to do some body play but his eyes were fixed on my dick and he wanted to grab it as soon as possible. After some force able body play he took my dick in his mouth and sucked it endlessly for 15 minutes. It gave me a great sense of pleasure and pride. My ego was saying to me "Your dick is a valuable asset of yours and every young lad wants to taste it and suck it to the core". After doing it repeatedly for 20 minutes he wanted to shag and he shagged.The things changed after that. I had not shagged till then and he was seemingly in an escaping mode. He was masturbating me so that I could ejaculate at the earliest. I jerked and both of us wasted our hands in the nearby basin. He was not looking at me and kept saying that "my brother will scold me if I reach late and I will miss BIGG BOSS too". We headed towards the bus stand and took the same bus as our places were on the same route. After purchasing his own ticket, we sat on the same seat.

He was continuously looking at the other side and avoided contact as if he wanted say what I am stuck at. He told me that his brother is always around therefore do not send any sms and if he is not able to pick my calls I should not be calling him again. I was kind of attached him emotionally but did not argue for any of these conditions. I did
not want to lose him at any cost. Next day neither I received any calls from him nor I called him as he had told me not to do so. After 2 days I
called him at about 9.15 PM and he picked and said "Buddy, please do not disturb me as I watching another interesting episode of Big boss. I will call you myself if I feel like". For the next one week my heart ached and I
kept wondering why did I lose such a beautiful friendship. The feelings of rejection and non worthy of love kept cropping in my mind. Seeking answers to my questions I was searching internet and I read something about sexual freedom and it changed my mind completely. Ultimately what we all our looking for is love. 

The urge to have sex with most good looking people and many people is the need of our ego and not love. Once the sex is done, our ego fears that this person will hamper our freedom to find more sexy guys. Therefore most of the guys they try to avoid contacting the person they had sex with last night. They fear their freedom being lost and the emotional entanglement with the same person can block source of their satisfaction (which they consider as having sex with lots of sexy people). This unpeaceful mind and false sense of freedom leads to a shattered life. Most guys get to addictions and lose there health while looking for happiness in sex. I have seen guys of about 20 to 25 having lost weight, sunken eyes, hair lose, undergoing depression, losing appetite, taking 10 cigarettes a day. They have been looking for false sense of happiness and satisfaction. If we have patience in losing the right guy for us and do not judge people on their looks and amount of sexual pleasure they can give you. Spend time with them and meet at at least 2-3 times to observe how do you feel while being with them. Whenever you see a sexy guy in front of you, release the desire of your ego to have physically capture him. Wait and tell yourself that I see a good human being and a god in everyone. Tell your ego "I am enough" and try to talk to him anything other than sex. If he is genuinely interested in you he will definitely be interested in the conversation. If he goes away, do not regret because he was not good for your body, mind and soul. The patience always pays to get you the right guy. Always remember god wants you to be loved not to be used for your body. Any suggestions and feedback are most welcome. You are always welcome to share your own real stories.


  1. I hope to find you someday in metro!!
    Not for sex obviously.... But would love to know more about you!! :)

  2. You are most welcome my friend. If you have real life experiences to share about your life, please feel free to contact me at Very soon I am going to publish another story, you can subscribe the blog by entering your email above.